vlad.tribnet.com / Issue #147 / Social life / Reading article...

The first babushka wouldn't stop talking to her cat. Another told me that I couldn't come home after 9 p.m. A third woman's energetic male dog became very friendly with my leg.

Is apartment hunting in Russia always this weird? Maybe I asked for it: To improve my language, I wanted to board with a native speaker.

But as I visited babushka after babushka in my search for a place to stay, I wondered whether these women were just a bunch of odd ducks or if they comprised an accurate sample of post-Soviet pensioners. Either way, the experience suggested a few insights into Russian society.

In more than ten responses to my ad in the papers, only one caller was male, and he was completely nuts. The rest were single women over 60. With enough character to break all the locks on their reinforced steel doors. As Russian women get older, it seems, they get stronger. As the men get older, they either knock off or go bonkers.

Pets were everywhere. Cats are said to soothe the aging; something about their affectionate demeanor relaxes their owners and eases various aches and pains. But yapping dogs? Suitable companionship for a lonely mother? Or perhaps the attention-starved whines of a sulking animal sufficiently preserve the memory of a lost husband? Third, they were all brutally honest. One told me that she would gladly do my laundry - except for the socks. She had no qualms about dirty shirts, underwear or pants - but no socks.

There was one who wanted me home by 9 o'clock not because she feared for my safety, but because the sound of an opening door late at night just scared the bejeezus out of her.

And finally, I was told that no female visitors were allowed. One anti-fraternization babushka wouldn't allow some "conniving young woman" to have her way with me. Though the idea appealed to me at first, I started having nightmares about being locked in a closet for two weeks out in Second River, blindfolded with a bra strapped around my head.

Though I'll watch out for the young Russian women, in the end I was more afraid of the babushkas. I think I'll be living in the safety of my own peculiarities.