vlad.tribnet.com / Issue #149 / Social life / Reading article...

Changes in society have resulted in a new fashion in naming businesses: Everybody is looking for a name for their company that sounds foreign to the Russian ear.

Seeing the names around town, I wonder if their owners know what the words actually mean. If they do, then what is the point — to show how educated they are, or to make fun of their compatriots? When the owners of one Vladivostok shop call their store Gift, do they indeed plan to give away their Taiwanese shoes, Polish jams and Russian beers?

I imagine an old babushka with a cane, a retired teacher of English, approaching the Second River kiosk with the English name Greed, spelled in Cyrillic letters. She turns away. “No,” she says. “I don’t have enough money to shop here.” She would be scared even to step inside the Vladivostok shops called Hunter or Shark. Only ignorant buyers would want to be devoured.

She might be encouraged by the sign on the Second River food store called Panacea: Maybe its products will improve her health. But she looks at the greenish beef with flies on it.

The merchants should rename the place Trouble; nobody would notice, except for her. It is probably safer to go to a Good Shop in Nakhodka, and not expect any surprises.

Those who are young and swift might wish to snatch the products from the Vladivostok company Grasp. You grasp their sugar and cheese, they grab your money, and everybody is happy with the quick business.

If you want insurance for your car and home, or just for a melancholy time of life, go to the insurance company Dusk in Artyom. They will provide a perfect insurance package for anyone in a dark mood.

There is even an option for those who like to travel. I’m sure they will be excited to hear about a local travel agency called (I’m not kidding) Scum-InTour. I imagine it organizes tours to the dirtiest cities of the world. Perhaps Vladivostok is number one on their list.

There are many such puzzles in the streets of our city – at least for those who know English.